there were two things i was certain of when i got engaged
the guy i was going to marry
and that there would be mason jars at my wedding
lots of them
everything else seemed to fall into place
around all the mason jars of course
...and then came baby...

Thursday, September 16, 2010

plus or minus one: determining if your wedding guests receive a +1

{via we heart it}

where does one draw the line?

if your cousin harry gets a date, does that mean you have to give your coworker sally one too?

i've experienced the plus one dilemma from all angles. i've been a guest who's been given a plus one, a guest who's been given a plus one & then had it taken away (ahem, NOT cool), and a bride who's had to decide who gets a plus one.

now that i've been on the deciding end of things, i have more respect for the brides before me who had to decide whether or not i (or the guy i might have been dating at the time) got a date.

so why not give everyone a plus one? well, some people do! but, some couples are limited due to location capacity, budget or some brides and grooms simply don't want to meet someone for the first time on their wedding day.

we had a maximum amount of guests allowed at our location, so we couldn't afford to invite everyone & their mother, let alone give everyone a plus one.

to begin, we decided that all of our bridal party (18 people in total!) would be allowed a guest. personally, i just don't think it's right to ask people to travel across the country for you, attend your rehearsal dinner, be part of your big day (and this is after they participated in your bachelor(ette) parties & showers, bought you gifts & provided support during your engagement), and not let them bring someone along for the ride.

next, we gave plus ones to people that were married (obvi) and people who were in relationships with people we had either met or had heard about from the guest. here's the thing, if you've never mentioned that you're in a relationship, you can't really expect to get a plus one on your invitation.

don't get me wrong, just because we had these "guidelines" doesn't mean everyone was happy. there were instances (less than a handful) when we found out about a boyfriend or girlfriend after the fact. but, i can honestly say that we didn't intentionally not allow someone to bring a person they were seriously involved with.

you win some, you lose some.

oh the fun of it all!

any plus one tips to share?

1 comment:

Erin said...

guest list by far has been the HARDEST part of wedding planning for me thus far (budget obviously tops the list but doesn't count b/c that's a given!) this is excellent advice! :)